Gratitude for this glimpse into your making meaning of making meaning. It nudges me to think about basketball, sports, how on a Sunday at Clark Park in the rectangle of that court I can feel pain, triumph, defeat, pride, shame, trust, regret, anger, desire, pleasure, rage— and then I can step off the sideline and walk away, leaving those emotions behind me and carrying them with me somehow at the same time. A meaning is made simply by experiencing it, and it loses its meaning without the experience. There’s a freedom to that, I think. The same way safron could be the colour of genocide in a country I come from- or it could just be the sun dipping past the horizon for the day, the sky stomping its heels. Thank you for the colours of these thoughts running now like paint across my canvas.
Stunning, Sanam! I feel similarly about playing soccer. I get to live the entirety of human drama in a 90 minute game; then exit the field into life, but not exactly putting the field away entirely. That energy - & the power & epics I felt there - hum & affects my days. This freedom you speak of, it bleeds into the rest of it all. Thank you for this reflection.
My therapist told me I am always trying to make meaning, even when in the middle of things. This was a very helpful and cathartic read. Thank you for your words!
I'm so grateful, Sara. I (clearly) share this urge to make meaning; & I love how you've clarified it - "in the middle of things" - where we are supposed to be messy & living & not necessarily knowing!
So beautiful, Celina. I feel this "oddness" you name so elegantly whenever I'm inviting a new habit into my system. It can feel clumsy, strange, unfamiliar, & a host of other things to...not do. Not strive. Not have to catapult into meaning. It sounds like you're giving yourself space to sit inside allll that it is bringing up for you.
Gratitude for this glimpse into your making meaning of making meaning. It nudges me to think about basketball, sports, how on a Sunday at Clark Park in the rectangle of that court I can feel pain, triumph, defeat, pride, shame, trust, regret, anger, desire, pleasure, rage— and then I can step off the sideline and walk away, leaving those emotions behind me and carrying them with me somehow at the same time. A meaning is made simply by experiencing it, and it loses its meaning without the experience. There’s a freedom to that, I think. The same way safron could be the colour of genocide in a country I come from- or it could just be the sun dipping past the horizon for the day, the sky stomping its heels. Thank you for the colours of these thoughts running now like paint across my canvas.
-Sanam
Stunning, Sanam! I feel similarly about playing soccer. I get to live the entirety of human drama in a 90 minute game; then exit the field into life, but not exactly putting the field away entirely. That energy - & the power & epics I felt there - hum & affects my days. This freedom you speak of, it bleeds into the rest of it all. Thank you for this reflection.
My therapist told me I am always trying to make meaning, even when in the middle of things. This was a very helpful and cathartic read. Thank you for your words!
I'm so grateful, Sara. I (clearly) share this urge to make meaning; & I love how you've clarified it - "in the middle of things" - where we are supposed to be messy & living & not necessarily knowing!
embracing the messy middle :)
So beautiful, Celina. I feel this "oddness" you name so elegantly whenever I'm inviting a new habit into my system. It can feel clumsy, strange, unfamiliar, & a host of other things to...not do. Not strive. Not have to catapult into meaning. It sounds like you're giving yourself space to sit inside allll that it is bringing up for you.
THIS is the way! YOU'RE A PRO already!